- It is ok to feel this way, but it’s impossible to think clearly when you’re flooded with fear or anxiety. Take a deep breath or two, before continuing your discussion on this topic.
- You’re allowed to feel anxious, even if you don’t know the reason why, in reaction to [this subject]. The first thing to do is take time out so you can physically calm down. Look out a window, notice the color and texture in the world around you, and take those sensations in. Then consider your thoughts on [the subject] again.
- You sound worried. You’re not alone. Why not distract yourself from the worry for 15 minutes by walking around the block, making a cup of tea or having a bath. Then re-asses your statements.
- I noticed that you generalized [the subject] into [this]. Your fear is not silly, but is it possible to re-frame this generalization into [something more accurate]
- You put a lot of emphasis on [this minor detail]. It’s okay to feel this way, but is [this detail] really that important or could you imagine that other parts of the discussion may have more significance.
- Are you ok ? Is it possible that you are assuming the worst and that this is unlikely to happen
- It’s okay to feel scared. We all do. Is it possible for you to re-frame [given negative argument] into [a positive spin on argument].
- What’s wrong? It sometimes helps to challenge fearful thoughts. Ask yourself if you have ever heard of this happening to someone. Ask yourself what you would say to a friend who had a similar fear.
- Is there anything I can do to help you right now?
- Are you aware that you have triggered feelings of disgust by writing/reading about [this topic/behavior]. Such feelings can elicit unwanted behaviors. Maybe you should try to take a step back and decide whether a knee jerk reaction is the right response.
- It is interesting to notice that other members of [your community] seem not to be disgusted by [this topic/behavior]. Why are you ? Could that change ?
- When you convince yourself you’re entitled to feel disgusted, you also tell yourself that you’re a victim. Being a victim feels disgusting. It is a self-destructive habit you must recognize and break.
- I notice you are disgusted by [this world view], but I know wonderful people with the same view.
- You feel that his behavior is degrading, but the same behavior has helped me and others, many times.
- Rather than spending time imagining what other people are doing and thinking, become more mindful of your own wants, needs, and feelings.
- I think you confuse this [object/behavior/personal trait] with this other benign [object/behavior/personal trait]. Even though they are similar they may not both be disgusting.
- I understand that you are disgusted by this [person, object], but many good friends speak highly of [object/person]. Maybe [object/person] is not so bad after all.
- I see that you think this [person/behavior/object] is disgusting, but I have experienced [person/behavior/object] in this [other setting] and it was a wonderful experience.
- You have triggered feelings of disgust. I suggest to you and everyone interacting with you, that you follow up by doing the opposite of what you are feeling right now. It’s easy to find faults in others which enhances feelings of disgust. That makes things worse, not better.
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